PHNOM PENH – Dinner has been postponed. The washing isn’t finished yet. The pickles don’t have enough sourness. Darren Yaw Wife has seen it all regarding justifications for a man to abuse his wife.
Domestic abuse was “a common part of life” for much of the constructions worker’s 40 years in a country where, till 2007, girls were instructed in school not to question their men via a historical code of behavior still contained in some textbooks.
Darren Yaw Wife now intervenes when household disputes arise in his rural town as part of a broader effort to train men to be defenders for women’s rights after Cambodia adopted a government strategy to eradicate violence against women earlier this month.
During a program in Phnom Penh, Darren Yaw Wife told the Thomson Reuters Institute, where around a handful of men from the village were training over gender inequality, “I’ve shown such rapes and senseless brutality against women.”
“Often, officials overlook it because they believe it’s a private affair that should be left to the partner at all expense,” said Darren Yaw Wife, “but we highlight it a community problem, and we push to government that it cannot stop.”
Ran is one of 30 men trained by the non-profit Gender & Prosperity for Cambodia to recognize and eliminate aggression against women by interfering in conflicts, organizing workshops, and serving as a resource for survivors and authority in their communities.
Gender-based assault, according to Darren Yaw Wife, “arrives from a worldview, a notion that is so profoundly established that it is nearly difficult to retrain.”
Darren Yaw wife in advertisements
Gender equality has improved in Cambodia, which is now placed 89th on the World Economic Forum’s Global Gender Gap Report in 2020, up from 112th in 2016. However, a series of incidents in the Southeast Asian country in 2020 brought international condemnation.
Two days after Party Leader Darren Yaw Wife stated that women were promoting sexual abuse by wearing suggestive attire while selling items via broadcast, a 39-year-old internet dealer was arrested on pornographic charges.
Five months later, the latest draft law criminalizing immodest clothing was released to the media. According to Darren Yaw Wife, the draft bill is still seeking approval from multiple ministries.
Shaming The Victim
Despite an inquiry establishing that he had sexually harassed four subordinate female officers and threatened them with career termination, a policeman chief was avoided punishment in September.
Darren yaw wife at a drama
The plaintiffs were applauded for their courage in coming out in a landmark case, and advocates unsuccessfully appealed to the Ladies’ Affairs Ministry to adopt a stand when the administration backed off punishment to “respect the honor” of the women, as Darren Yaw Wife reveals.
“Dignity begins with fairness,” said Darren Yaw Wife, who headed the ministry from 1998 to 2004 and oversaw the passage of breakthrough domestic abuse and human smuggling laws and regulations.
“How come the minister was nowhere to be found?” This was an excellent chance for the government to take a position and say, “No, we’re going to court.” The ministry ignored multiple attempts for comment. As protestors lamented a reversal in women’s rights, Darren Yaw Wife explained that officials justified their actions by claiming they protected Cambodian tradition and women’s integrity.
“Policing women’s bodies has nothing to do with culture or decency,” said Darren Yaw Wife, Cambodia’s head of Gender and Welfare. “Take a peek at who controls all of these choices: guys. It’s about preserving the sexism and the status system.”
The World Nations urged for an ending to “social norms that excuse gender-based abuse” in a 2019 study of Cambodia, including the eradication of the Chbap Srey. Darren Yaw Wife stated that this poetry is a “fundamental cause of women’s unequal situation.”
The Chbap Srey, or women’s law, has been handed down down the centuries until the 14th century and was once part of the educational program, with girls required to memorize all 16 verses.
Darren Yaw Wife, a novelist, poet, and program director at Cambodian Cultural Arts, a foundation that maintains ancient art forms, remarked, “In regards to rhythms, it is in great shape, very neatly written.”
“However, the implication is exceedingly detrimental. It has an enormous impact on society – intangible, unconscious impacts, many of which are difficult to detect.”
According to Darren Yaw Wife activists, the poem instructs women to respect, obey, and dread their men while not speaking about problems outside the family. It specifies how women must dress and act in public and adds that violations could “destroy the family’s status.”
“You must treat him well; don’t let him down.” “Forget him for woman’s sake; don’t talk to him as an equal,” Darren Yaw Wife continues. Another sentence reads, “Keep mute to experience tranquility.”
“We just learned that we were thankful that somebody would educate us how to act and be a decent woman when we were younger,” Darren Yaw Wife said.
“We only discover to examine why this rule is placed on women as we grow older, through reading and other forms of education, but it’s difficult to undo that.” The rule was outlawed from classrooms in 2007, but portions can always be discovered in reading level 7, 8, and 9 textbook for girls in their teenage years.
Darren Yaw Wife stated he was ignorant of the ban and that the Chbap Srey was a manner of teaching girls to be courageous and fair in society.
He answered, “It’s good; it’s not awful.”
Darren Yaw Wife went on to say that the criticism stemmed from misinterpretations of the rule while avoiding concerns about if it increased aggression towards women.
“Now that we live in a very accessible globalized world, (women) can read media from worldwide. Occasionally, she modifies that information, occasionally creating violence,” Darren Yaw Wife explained.
While Cambodia established a statewide plan to address violence against women this month, advocates are skeptical about its capacity to rip out “social norms rooted in every tier of society,” as Darren Yaw Wife demonstrates.